Like any international students, my husband and I were busy with our studies when we first arrived at the United States. After graduation we were busy with our work and had not time to have a baby. However, when we finally got settled down and wanted a baby, we couldn’t make it. By then I suffered from frequent diarrhea. Upon inspection I was diagnosed hyperthyroidism. I went through three treatments. The doctor finally decided to treat me with radiant iodine, but I had to take medicine all my life. For this reason some people warned me that it might be very hard for me to get pregnant.
I want a baby
At that time I was married for nine years. Doctors of infertility did many tests on me but to no avail. They classified me into the 2% infertility cases with no obvious reasons and suggested me receiving hormone injections so that enough mature eggs may be produced for tubal pregnancy. When I learned that the process required human interference I rejected the idea, because birth is in the hands of God. The doctor said, “Why don’t you try injections? They can increase your opportunity of impregnation.” I was pregnant by the second injection! I was overjoyed and smiled all the time after getting back home. But during the next examination, the doctor said he couldn’t hear the heart beating of the fetus and it might be a pseudo pregnancy. He suggested me having an abortion because when the placenta grew bigger, I might suffer from hemorrhage when getting an abortion. I was very sad at the news and went to consult other doctors, but they all agreed with this infertility expert.
After that, I gave no thoughts to getting pregnant any more. The only time I got pregnant, it turned out to be a pseudo pregnancy. God probably won’t give me a baby. So I put all mind on my work and on leading student fellowship group. Students all call me “Big Mom.” Although I had no child, on Mother’s Day I received many flowers. I told God, “Perhaps these are the children you want to give me, even though they are not born from me; if it’s your will, I will obey. I will not depend on human power by going to see a doctor because it will not work.”
God will give me a baby
In 1997 Sister An Hua introduced us to attend the Midwest Thanksgiving Conference. I didn’t know there was prayer service and Sister An Hua registered for us. One evening it was already passed ten o’clock, there were still many people waiting for prayers by Pastor Tai and Sister Meilian. I decided to go back to my room and sleep. Later someone knocked on my door and asked us to hurry up for the prayer. I wondered in my heart: what kind of prayer is this? I had no idea at all.
Then we saw Pastor Tai and Sister Meilian. They didn’t know us. We didn’t have any special prayer request either. So we said to Aunt Meilian, “Please give us blessings!” Pastor Tai asked us, “Do you have children?” We answered, “No, we don’t.” After Pastor’s brief prayer, Sister Meilian said, “God said…” How scared I was! Wow! Now God is speaking? The first thing God said to my husband Rei-ci was, “God will give you a baby and it’s from you,” which means the baby is not adopted. I was shocked and started to cry. I cried so hard that I couldn’t hear Sister Meilian’s prayer until I got calm down. I was so shocked. I only remember that I cried from the beginning to the end.
After the prayer, I felt like coming back from a big battle. I was very tired. It was as if I cried off all my burdens and came naked before God. But God had pointed out my future, an impossible thing I never expected would happen. I took this into my heart as Mary did. I still thought about it in December, but the next year in January I almost forgot this.
In September I found my period was late and my body felt tired and aching. By then I was 42 years old. Is it menopause? I wondered. Something must be wrong with my body. It happened my husband was going for an interview in another state. I went with him, but came back lying down. My body felt so tired.
The next day I called my gynecologist. He asked me to buy a pregnancy kit. I followed the directions, but still not sure whether I got pregnant or not. My husband looked at it and said, “it seems we made it!” Then we knelt down in the living room and cried into each other’s arms. We prayed earnestly in gratitude of God’s grace. A woman who has been barren for a long time, when she prayed earnestly before God, her husband said, “Aren’t I better than ten sons for you? It is God who decides whether you can get pregnant or not.” I also know God controls all the births and there is nothing human can do, not to speak of the birth of a new life. Although I gave up ten years ago, every time I saw someone else’s babies, I always love to caress them and to hold them. Recalling Aunt Meilian’s prayer last November, it was within less than one year when such a big miracle happened. I really can’t believe it. Neither can I believe God’s maid can tell me so precisely what would happen in the future.
Cannot forget God’s grace
I gave my testimony in the chorus—people told me to speak of it when I was pregnant three or four months and when everything turned stable. Looking back at the whole process of my pregnancy, when I was unaware of it, I went sightseeing by boat. All the people in the boat are seasick. They would rush to the toilet regardless of Men’s or Women’s just to throw up everything. I was perfectly O.K. and even ran up and down the mount of sand. After I discovered that I was pregnant, the doctor said I was too old to get pregnant and worried that I might give birth to a defected baby. He asked me to have amniocentesis. We simply rejected the suggestion. We will accept whatever it is from God. Although I suffered from coccyx pain and pregnancy associated with diabetes, I was never depressed during my pregnancy. I prayed for my baby joyfully everyday. God also protected me to go to work safely until one week before the child was born. I gave birth to the baby naturally, without much pain.
Sister Meilian’s prayer was really beyond my imagination, but I believe the spiritual world is beyond human comprehension. As human beings, we can only give ourselves completely to God and praise his mighty power. Our praise and thanksgiving is limited, but God’s love is beyond my imagination. He gave his love to me and bestowed his full grace on me, who has been making all kinds of mistakes in my life. I was so deeply touched. God also gave my husband and me a verse, “The blessing of the LORD brings wealth, and he adds no trouble to it” (Proverbs 10:22). We went through all the difficulties depending on this verse. God gave us a child after we were married for 19 years. This is His sovereignty. It is beyond the comprehension of our humble human heads. We will give glory back to Him!
Notes: Yi-Le Ke is now six years old. He is very cute and smart. When he was four years old, he told mom that he wanted to believe in the God mom believes. He wanted to thank God’s great deed!
The Joy of Hannah
哈拿的喜樂
黃瑞苑
就像一般留學生一樣，我和先生剛到美國時為學業忙碌，之後就為工作忙碌，沒時間生小孩，等一切穩定後想要小孩時，卻一直沒有消息。那時我常拉肚子，檢查後發現是甲狀腺機能亢進，前後經歷三次治療，最後用放射碘來治療，需終身吃藥；因此有人警告我可能不容易受孕。
我想要小孩
當時我已結婚九年，不孕症專家為我做了許多檢查，都沒有結果，只能把我歸類在2%不明原因的不孕症中，並建議我打賀爾蒙，以產生許多成熟的卵，來作試管嬰兒。我一聽需要經過人的加工，並想到生育是神的事，就拒絕了。醫生說：不然還是打針，來增加你的受孕機會吧，才打兩次我就懷孕了。那時我高興極了，回去後更是笑不合攏。但下一次去檢查時，醫生卻說聽不到胎兒心跳，可能是空胞胎，建議我們拿掉，否則胎盤繼續長大，將來流產可能會大流血。聽了以後我非常傷心，再去找別的醫生諮詢，但大家都贊同這位不孕症專家的意見。
至此之後，我再也不想懷孕的事了，連僅有的一次，神都給空胞胎，大概不會給我孩子了。於是我就把心思放在工作及帶領學生團契上。學生們都叫我「大娘」。母親節時雖然沒有小孩，我反而會收到許多花。我跟神說：「也許這就是你要給我的孩子，不是從我生的；若是你的旨意，我願意順服」，不再靠人的力量找醫生，結果也是枉然。
神要給我小孩
一九九七年教會的安華姊妹介紹我們參加中西部感恩節特會。我不知道有禱告服事，是安華替我們報名的。有一晚已經十點多，還有許多人等戴牧師及美蓮姊妹禱告，於是我回房準備睡覺。後來有人來敲門，要我們了趕緊去禱告。我心裡納悶著：這是一個怎樣的禱告呢？我完全沒有概念。
之後看到戴牧師及美蓮姊妹，他們不認識我們，我們也沒有什麼特別需要禱告的事項，因此對美蓮姑說：請為我們祝福吧！ 牧師問：你們沒有小孩嗎？我們回答：沒有。戴牧師作了一個簡短的禱告後，美蓮姊妹就說：『神說…』我完全嚇到了！現在是神在說話嗎？而且一開口就對著先生瑞慈說：『神要給你一個小孩，是從你生的…』不是領養的。我更是震驚，開始掉眼淚，以致無法聽到美蓮姊妹的禱告，等我稍微控制自己之後才能繼續聽下去。我實在太震驚，只記得我從頭哭到尾。
禱告結束後，感覺像打了一場仗，非常疲累，彷彿身上的重擔全都哭掉了，在神面前赤裸裸，神卻指出我的未來，一件不可能也不敢盼望的事。但我像馬利亞將這事存在心裡。十二月還偶而會想到，到隔年一月份時我幾乎完全忘記這事。
九月時我發現月事已晚，而且人非常疲憊，當時我已四十二歲，心中猜想是否更年期來了？身體是不是有問題。剛好先生要到外州面談，我跟著去，但我是躺著回來的，身體累得不得了。
第二天我打電話給婦產科醫生，他居然要我去買驗孕試劑。我照著說明書做，一驗之下還搞不清楚有沒有？先生看了之後說：『好像有了！』。當下我倆就在客廳跪下來抱頭大哭，痛切的禱告感謝神的恩典。一個長久不生育的女人，當她向神苦求時，先生也說：『有我不比十個兒子還好嗎？叫你生育的是神阿。』我也知道生育在神，人所能做的很少，何況這是一個生命的誕生。雖然十年前我已放棄，但每每看到別人的小孩，我還是很愛去逗，去抱。記起去年十一月特會美蓮姑的禱告，不到一年，竟然發生這麼大的一個神蹟，真不敢相信，也不敢相信有神的使女能把將來發生的事那麼準確的說出來。
主恩難忘
我在詩班作了這個見證，有人要我到懷孕三、四個月後比較穩定時再說。但回頭看我的懷孕過程，在我不知道懷孕時，還出去遊玩坐船，全船的人都暈船，我卻完全沒事，還到沙丘跑上跑下；知道懷孕後，醫生說我是高齡產婦，擔心我生出蒙古症的孩子，要我做羊膜穿刺，我們一口回絕。若是神給的，無論如何我們都接受；雖然其中經歷尾椎骨痛，姙娠糖尿等問題，但懷孕期間我幾乎不曾生氣，每天喜樂為胎兒禱告。神也保守我上班平安，一直上到小孩出生前一週。我的生產也很順利，是自然生產，沒什麼痛苦。
關於美蓮姊妹的禱告實在超出我想像。但我相信屬靈的事，不是人所能了解。人只能完全交給神，並全然讚美神。人所能表達的感謝是有限的，但神的愛在我這樣一個大錯小錯不斷的人身上，恩典完全賜下，是我無法想像，也深深感動的。神也給我們夫妻一句話：「耶和華所賜的福，使人富足，並不加上憂慮。(箴言10:22)」我們就靠這一句話渡過所有的困難。回頭看結婚十九年，神才賜給我們一個孩子，這是祂的主權，不是我們用人的小腦袋所能參透的，我們願將榮耀歸給祂！
後記：柯依樂現在已經六歲了，聰明可愛。在四歲的時候，就告訴媽媽，要信媽媽所信的那位神。感謝神自己的作為！
The Joy of Hannah
Ruiyun Huang
Like any international students, my husband and I were busy with our studies when we first arrived at the United States. After graduation we were busy with our work and had not time to have a baby. However, when we finally got settled down and wanted a baby, we couldn’t make it. By then I suffered from frequent diarrhea. Upon inspection I was diagnosed hyperthyroidism. I went through three treatments. The doctor finally decided to treat me with radiant iodine, but I had to take medicine all my life. For this reason some people warned me that it might be very hard for me to get pregnant.
I want a baby
At that time I was married for nine years. Doctors of infertility did many tests on me but to no avail. They classified me into the 2% infertility cases with no obvious reasons and suggested me receiving hormone injections so that enough mature eggs may be produced for tubal pregnancy. When I learned that the process required human interference I rejected the idea, because birth is in the hands of God. The doctor said, “Why don’t you try injections? They can increase your opportunity of impregnation.” I was pregnant by the second injection! I was overjoyed and smiled all the time after getting back home. But during the next examination, the doctor said he couldn’t hear the heart beating of the fetus and it might be a pseudo pregnancy. He suggested me having an abortion because when the placenta grew bigger, I might suffer from hemorrhage when getting an abortion. I was very sad at the news and went to consult other doctors, but they all agreed with this infertility expert.
After that, I gave no thoughts to getting pregnant any more. The only time I got pregnant, it turned out to be a pseudo pregnancy. God probably won’t give me a baby. So I put all mind on my work and on leading student fellowship group. Students all call me “Big Mom.” Although I had no child, on Mother’s Day I received many flowers. I told God, “Perhaps these are the children you want to give me, even though they are not born from me; if it’s your will, I will obey. I will not depend on human power by going to see a doctor because it will not work.”
God will give me a baby
In 1997 Sister An Hua introduced us to attend the Midwest Thanksgiving Conference. I didn’t know there was prayer service and Sister An Hua registered for us. One evening it was already passed ten o’clock, there were still many people waiting for prayers by Pastor Tai and Sister Meilian. I decided to go back to my room and sleep. Later someone knocked on my door and asked us to hurry up for the prayer. I wondered in my heart: what kind of prayer is this? I had no idea at all.
Then we saw Pastor Tai and Sister Meilian. They didn’t know us. We didn’t have any special prayer request either. So we said to Aunt Meilian, “Please give us blessings!” Pastor Tai asked us, “Do you have children?” We answered, “No, we don’t.” After Pastor’s brief prayer, Sister Meilian said, “God said…” How scared I was! Wow! Now God is speaking? The first thing God said to my husband Rei-ci was, “God will give you a baby and it’s from you,” which means the baby is not adopted. I was shocked and started to cry. I cried so hard that I couldn’t hear Sister Meilian’s prayer until I got calm down. I was so shocked. I only remember that I cried from the beginning to the end.
After the prayer, I felt like coming back from a big battle. I was very tired. It was as if I cried off all my burdens and came naked before God. But God had pointed out my future, an impossible thing I never expected would happen. I took this into my heart as Mary did. I still thought about it in December, but the next year in January I almost forgot this.
In September I found my period was late and my body felt tired and aching. By then I was 42 years old. Is it menopause? I wondered. Something must be wrong with my body. It happened my husband was going for an interview in another state. I went with him, but came back lying down. My body felt so tired.
The next day I called my gynecologist. He asked me to buy a pregnancy kit. I followed the directions, but still not sure whether I got pregnant or not. My husband looked at it and said, “it seems we made it!” Then we knelt down in the living room and cried into each other’s arms. We prayed earnestly in gratitude of God’s grace. A woman who has been barren for a long time, when she prayed earnestly before God, her husband said, “Aren’t I better than ten sons for you? It is God who decides whether you can get pregnant or not.” I also know God controls all the births and there is nothing human can do, not to speak of the birth of a new life. Although I gave up ten years ago, every time I saw someone else’s babies, I always love to caress them and to hold them. Recalling Aunt Meilian’s prayer last November, it was within less than one year when such a big miracle happened. I really can’t believe it. Neither can I believe God’s maid can tell me so precisely what would happen in the future.
Cannot forget God’s grace
I gave my testimony in the chorus—people told me to speak of it when I was pregnant three or four months and when everything turned stable. Looking back at the whole process of my pregnancy, when I was unaware of it, I went sightseeing by boat. All the people in the boat are seasick. They would rush to the toilet regardless of Men’s or Women’s just to throw up everything. I was perfectly O.K. and even ran up and down the mount of sand. After I discovered that I was pregnant, the doctor said I was too old to get pregnant and worried that I might give birth to a defected baby. He asked me to have amniocentesis. We simply rejected the suggestion. We will accept whatever it is from God. Although I suffered from coccyx pain and pregnancy associated with diabetes, I was never depressed during my pregnancy. I prayed for my baby joyfully everyday. God also protected me to go to work safely until one week before the child was born. I gave birth to the baby naturally, without much pain.
Sister Meilian’s prayer was really beyond my imagination, but I believe the spiritual world is beyond human comprehension. As human beings, we can only give ourselves completely to God and praise his mighty power. Our praise and thanksgiving is limited, but God’s love is beyond my imagination. He gave his love to me and bestowed his full grace on me, who has been making all kinds of mistakes in my life. I was so deeply touched. God also gave my husband and me a verse, “The blessing of the LORD brings wealth, and he adds no trouble to it” (Proverbs 10:22). We went through all the difficulties depending on this verse. God gave us a child after we were married for 19 years. This is His sovereignty. It is beyond the comprehension of our humble human heads. We will give glory back to Him!
Notes: Yi-Le Ke is now six years old. He is very cute and smart. When he was four years old, he told mom that he wanted to believe in the God mom believes. He wanted to thank God’s great deed!