在過去的半年裡，神興起Melinda姐妹在教會裡開始一個婦女查經小組，研讀Babara K .Mouser 所著『合神心意女人的5方面要點』（Five Aspects of Woman）這本書。推出之前她問我意見如何，我真想說『週日下午正好眠，捲起書本待來年』； 但我一向感受Melinda身上散發出一股說不出的平靜與智慧，她提議的一定對我們有益，於是決定全力支持。沒想到造成我生命這階段的一個大轉變；書都還沒讀完，很多姐妹也都已經大大地經歷了神。
During the last 6 months, God has risen up sister Melinda to start a women’s group to study “Five Aspects of Woman” written by Mrs. Barbara K. Mouser. Before promoting this event, she asked me for my opinion. I wanted to say that, “Sunday afternoon is just the perfect time to rest. Why don’t we wait and see?” However, I always sense an indescribable calmness and wisdom within her so whatever she suggests must be beneficial to us. Therefore, I decided to fully support her on her proposal. Little did I know that this decision would radically change in my life. Without even finishing the whole book, many sisters have also already encountered God in profound ways.
The first aspect brings to light that a woman is the mistress of the domain (inner and outer domains in life). God first created man, then woman. Together, man and woman build God’s kingdom to “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.” (Genesis 1:28). This is our creation purpose and destiny. This is the “Kingdom Mandate”. Interestingly, this is also the exact calling for our church – the “10500 Mandate” – calling God’s people, men and women, young and old, rich or poor, to humbly and whole heartedly run toward excellence. We are called to be an elite, or a “mistress or master”, over our domains – becoming God’s testimony on every major mountains of influence in the world, fulfilling our assignment to build His kingdom and contain the Great Harvest for the day of God’s glorious coming. Elites are represented by the number 10,000, whereas 500 represent their spiritual covers. I finally have grasped the meaning of “10500 Mandate” – our destiny is to build God’s Kingdom! Those who deny themselves and follow Jesus are the elites! For Matthew 13:44-45 says, “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it. ”
But even in this great call, the scripture says that “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) After Adam and Eve sinned, people entered into the age of “end time”. We are now truly living in end time – no longer living to the full extent of God’s original creation purpose. Therefore, we cannot fully fulfill His mandate to “be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it”. In fact, throughout the whole Bible, in various ways, God has repeatedly warned people about the end time: the flood destroying the sinful world, a volcanic burial of Sodom and Gomorrah, ethnic genocide of Hebrew male babies by Egyptian Pharaoh, and the violent and cruel nations set to destroy Israel when she turned away from God and worshipped idols. If we don’t live by faith (Habakkuk 2:4), like Noah’s building the ark, Lot’s family’s exit of Sodom, Moses’ leading the Israelites to exit Egypt, Israelis’ exit of Babylon, returning to God and building the temple, and God’s sending of His only son to save us, how could we become holy and be worthy to build God’s Kingdom? I used to think “end time” means something that will happen in the near future, without realizing that I am in “end time” already! Actually, “end time” is almost coming to an “end” and Christ is returning soon!
The second aspect points out that a woman is not only a man’s “helper”, but more importantly, is his “completer”. Genesis 2:18 states that “The LORD God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” In Chinese and English Bible, the word “help” can not exactly express the original meaning of the Hebrew word “עֵזֶר (’ezer)”. It means “to complete”, “necessary”, and “indispensible”. It excludes the meaning of secondary and subordinate. Namely, the more exact way to state this verse is “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a completer meet for him”. Therefore, the purpose for woman to help man is to make each other complete and become one in order to respond to the God’s calling of building the Kingdom. Without woman, man’s work will not be completed and vice versa. As a consequence, God’s Kingdom cannot be built up. Similarly, the Church recognizes Christ as Her head. Jesus is the bridegroom and The Church is His bride. They shall become one. In the same way, God’s people and God shall become one. After all, “Oneness” originates from God’s image of trinity – God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. The three parts become one to complete each other. God made the image of “oneness” inside us!
After my youngest daughter was born, life stretched my emotional and physical strength to the limit. I did my best to take care of three children and do housework, thinking “Isn’t woman a man’s helper? Perseverance will certainly bring hope. Striving forward will eventually bring reward.” But my husband actually feels that I constantly held him back. I often asked “Lord! What are my problems? How did those great women do it?” It turns out that if we recognize that men and women’s destinies are to build God’s Kingdom together, then my laboring is totally worth it. No matter how hard life becomes in the future, it will be filled with joy because we and our children will see God’s glorious coming, and the eternal increase of His government and peace (Isaiah 9:7). Eureka! I finally found the answer! I was just like the woman at the well who drank the “never thirsting” water described in John 4: “but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:14). All of us have short-termed goal in every stage of our lives. If we don’t align these goals with God’s eternal destiny for us, we will easily lose orientation after achieving each goal. Even to a point that after being pumped up in special conference, we become hopeless as soon as we return back to the stress of our daily life. This is all because that we have forgotten that we are created to build God’s kingdom and carry out the mandate to “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.”
In seeing other sisters also receiving many blessings from the women’s group and their lives being changed, God gave me a vision at church 2 weeks before Midwest Thanksgiving Conference (MTC). Why not share such wonderful blessings to all the sisters during the conference? So after receiving approval from Meng-Da Hsieh, the MTC coordinator, I then boldly approached sister Melinda Wong, then 4 months pregnant, on whether she would like to lead a workshop of “5 Aspects of Woman”. I also asked Sister Joyce Weng, who oversees MTC registration, to be the interpreter because she leads the Chinese discussion for the women’s group. They both told me that they would pray about this. After several days, both replied me that God has moved them to take on this task.
Honestly speaking, up until the moment before the workshop began, we were secretly worried that what if only 3 of us showed up after all? Our prayer was: even if only one or 2 sisters show up, they would find their destiny by this workshop and influence others. Unexpectedly, the 20 copies of the lecture notes were not enough to go around! Praise the Lord that He even provided 2 brothers, Bin and Francis, to help us print extra notes, record the message, and move the chairs, so that our work could be completed.
After sister Melinda’s teaching, sister Yanling, holding her baby girl, gave a wonderful testimony. The workshop concluded with a prayer blessing from Pastor Rebecca Wu from Chinese Christian Prayer Mountain (CCPM) and Mrs. Elsie Tong from Chicago. I saw many sisters with smile on their faces. Many of them stayed afterward for more lively sharing and discussions. I believe that God has planted the seed of His Kingdom in every woman’s heart so that they will continue to shine for God after they leave the conference.
After the conference, Pastor Hannah Chang from CCPM prayed for me one evening. She began by saying, “God has chosen you to complete your husband, David, in order to complete His Kingdom work. God is delighted that you are completing your Kingdom task.” I can only respond by saying “Amen”. God reveal exactly what I had received from Him through the prophetic prayer of a pastor who did not know me at all. I have not even told my husband yet! Her prayer further confirmed what I have received from God recently, as spoken in Revelation 19:10 “for the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.”!
I felt like a power that is greater than atomic bomb is going to explode from my body. As I was overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit, the song “O Happy Day” started to play again and again in my heart. Often when I sang this song, I easily feel its liveliness. But this time, the joyfulness I felt cannot be measured. There are no words that can describe the happy feeling in my heart. I truly want to pray and worship, without ceasing, this true and living God. I finally understand why the early church constantly worshipped the Lord together (Acts 2:46, 47) and why many places in Revelation say that we will worship the Lord day and night. It is because when we taste and see that the Lord is good, we want to give Him all glory (Psalm 35:8, I Peter 2:3)!
Beside the unquenchable desire to worship and praise God, He also opened my ears of worship. I used to be very picky with the musical aspects of praise songs. I can easily discern when instruments or vocals project noise or go off pitch. Even though I respect a composer’s heart toward God, I rarely find the worship music enjoyable. I really envy other people when I saw them enjoy themselves during worship. I constantly say to God “Please turn off my keen musical senses because at least I will be happier!” However, after being filled by the Holly Spirit, God truly answered my prayer! Just as 1 Corinthians 3:18-19 says, “If any of you think he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a “fool” so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight.”. I suddenly realize that when I worship and praise God, my heart was no longer stymied by the sound. God completely set me free – “where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). As long as the songs worship and praise my Lord, they would stir me with excitement and I would often shed tears in response. I can feel our worship rising as a fragrant sacrifice (Leviticus 3:5) to the throne of God to bring Him pleasure. God is abundantly pleased when His children come to worship and praise Him!
Just like the women at the well who immediately ran to tell her village about Jesus when she met the true God, I was also bursting with desire to share the joy of my encounter with God. I burned with eagerness to tell people about my life transformation, about how every word in the Bible is true, and how “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrew 13:8)! I even want to share my testimony with strangers I meet on the street and pray for them. I then asked my pastor for permission to share my testimony in the church.
God also opened my eyes. When I would read the Bible, the words that use to be dull became alive. It was like eating a hardy and sumptuous heavenly meal such that the more I ate, the more I desired the word. When I do housework, the Lord would bring me revelations and Bible verses. I would often quickly jot them down and look for those verses. Studying Bible is no longer a chore for me. The excitement of understanding God’s desire and mystery through reading God’s words is indescribable!
Subsequently, God began to prod me to go to the places we have lived to share with them about this good news. During the 15 years of marriage, my husband and I moved every 2 years and have lived in 8 cities because of school and work. God’s Mandate in end time is “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (Matt 28:19- 20). For a homemaker like me, there is a certain degree of difficulty with “go”. However, God miraculously gave me the opportunities to “go” and to speak His desire. Thank God for choosing us to complete his Kingdom directive to “be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it”. This is our creation purpose and destiny, the meaning and the blessing of our life! (Memoir after Thanksgiving, 2010)
Destiny, Eureka!
找到命定
慈安
在過去的半年裡，神興起Melinda姐妹在教會裡開始一個婦女查經小組，研讀Babara K .Mouser 所著『合神心意女人的5方面要點』（Five Aspects of Woman）這本書。推出之前她問我意見如何，我真想說『週日下午正好眠，捲起書本待來年』； 但我一向感受Melinda身上散發出一股說不出的平靜與智慧，她提議的一定對我們有益，於是決定全力支持。沒想到造成我生命這階段的一個大轉變；書都還沒讀完，很多姐妹也都已經大大地經歷了神。
書中的第一個要點是提醒女人，她是自己內外各個生命領域的女主人。神先造男人，再造女人；男人女人一起建立神的國度，在各個領域裡『生養眾多，遍滿地面，治理這地』（創 1: 28節）；這是我們受造的目的與命定，是一個國度大任。而我們教會的異象『10,500大任』是呼召神的子民，不論男女老少，貧賤富貴，要在自己對內與對外的生命領域裡（國度裡），謙卑並竭力追求卓越、成為精英，也就是書中所說的：要作主人，在世界上具影響力的各個山頭，為神做見證，建立祂的國度；在末世盛裝大收割，直到神榮耀再來的那日。精英以一萬表示，五百則代表屬靈的遮蓋。我終於了解了10,500大任的意思，我們的命定是為著建立神的國度！捨己跟從耶穌，為神建立國度的人就是精英！如同馬太福音13章44、45節說道：天國好像寶貝藏在田裡，人遇見了，就把他藏起來，歡歡喜喜地去變賣所有的買這塊地；天國又像買賣人，尋找好珠子，遇見一顆重價的珠子，就去變賣他一切所有的，買了這珠子。
但『因為世人都犯了罪，虧缺了神的榮耀』（羅3:23），亞當、夏娃犯罪後，人類就走向了末世；我們現在就活在末世裡。我們不再活出神創造我們的原意，也就不能完成祂所吩咐『生養眾多，遍滿地面，治理這地』的大任。其實整本聖經裡，神藉著不同的方式反覆不斷地告訴人：先是以洪水毀滅罪惡的世界，然後讓火山爆發埋葬罪惡之都 – 索多瑪與峨摩拉，允許埃及法老屠殺希伯來人的男嬰滅族，接著又有各個兇暴殘忍的民族毀滅離棄神而去拜偶像的以色列人，就是要我們知道，若不『因信得生』（哈2:4），如同諾亞造方舟、羅得一家出索多瑪、摩西領百姓出埃及，以及以色列人出巴比倫，迴轉歸向神修築聖殿一樣，最後神竟親自賜下獨生子耶穌救贖我們，我們怎能成為聖潔，有資格建造神的國度？以前我總以為末世是以後快發生的事，原來已經身處其中而渾然不覺，其實末世都快結束了，主快要再來了（啟 22: 20）！
接著第二個要點說到，女人不但是男人的『幫助者』，更是男人的『完全者』。創世記2:18說，『那人獨居不好，我要為他造一個配偶幫助他』，中文或英文聖經所用的『幫助(help)』一詞，不能盡然表示希伯來文עֵזֶר (’ezer)的原意，עֵזֶר (’ezer) 是『完全』的意思，是必需的，不可缺少的，並沒有次等附屬的意思，因此這節經文應該這麼表達更確切：『那人獨居不好，我要為他造一個配偶完成他』，或『使他完全』。所以女人幫助男人的目的是要使彼此得以完全，合而為一，一同回應神吩咐我們建造國度大任的呼召。男人的工作若沒有女人，就不完全， 反之亦然，神的國度也就不能被建立！就像教會以基督為首，基督是新郎，教會是新婦，要合為一體，神的子民要與神合而為一， 『合一』出自於神三位一體的形象-聖父、聖子、聖靈合而為一，互為完全，祂將『合一』的形象造在我們裡面！
小女兒出生後，生活把我的精神和體力拉到極限，每天盡全力照顧三個孩子、管理家務，心裡認為：女人不是男人的幫助嗎？撐下去一定有盼望，努力向前的必有獎賞。但我先生竟然常感覺我在扯他後腿，我因此常問：主啊！我是哪裡出問題了？那些偉大的女性是怎麼做到的？當知道原來神的命定是要男人與女人合而為一來建造完成祂的國度，我以前的那些辛苦原是為此目的，真是太值得了；往後無論怎麼艱難都會充滿喜樂，因為有一天，我們與我們的後代將要親眼看到神榮耀的再來，祂的政權與平安必加增無窮（賽9:7）。我終於找到了解答！我好像約翰福音4章所述井邊的婦人一樣，喝到了不會再渴的水，『人若喝我所賜的水，就永遠不渴，我所賜的水，要在他裡頭成為泉源，直湧到永生』。（約4:14）我們生命裡的每一個階段都有一個短暫的目的，但若不將這些目的連結到神所賜永恆的命定，很容易在達到一個目的之後就不知何去何從，甚至每次參加特會後回到生活的壓力下，就感到沒盼望；這都是因為我們忘了我們是為建造神的國度而受造，要持續『生養眾多，遍滿地面，治理這地』這項大任！
看到其他姐妹也因這個小組領受了許多的祝福，生命得到改變，在「中西部感恩節特會」(MTC)之前兩週的主日，神忽然提醒我，為何不將這麼好的祝福與大會的姐妹們分享？於是經由大會總幹事孟達弟兄的同意，大膽地問了當時懷孕4個月的Melinda姐妹願不願意提供這個講座，又請身負註冊組重任的以樂姐妹做翻譯，因為她是姐妹小組中文部的小組長，她們竟不約而同地說要回去禱告；幾天後即回覆我說，神感動她們接受這項任務。直到講座開始的前一刻，我們三個其實都心照不宣地在擔心：要是只有我們三個參加怎麼辦？我們的禱告是：即使只有一、兩位姐妹來參加，都願她們藉此找到她們的命定，並去影響他人。沒想到原本預備好的20份講義都不夠，還好在場有兩位弟兄：劉彬和陳中興，幫助我們錄影、搬椅子、印講義，使我們的工作得以完全。Melinda教導完後，艷玲姐妹抱著她的小女兒做見證，最後來自台灣禱告山的吳翠華牧師與芝加哥的Elsie湯師母為姐妹們祝福禱告。我看到所有姐妹都面滿笑容，不少人結束後還留下來繼續熱烈地討論，相信神已在每個人的心裡種下神國度的種子，回去後會繼續為神發光！
特會後一天傍晚，台灣禱告山的張哈拿牧師為我禱告。她一開始就說：神揀選你成全你的先生，來成全祂的國度，神喜悅你們成全神的國度。我當場只能不停的說：阿們！神竟透過一位完全不認識我的牧師，一字不漏地把我從神來的領受講了出來，我都還沒告訴我先生呢！她的禱告為我這陣子所領受的做了更進一步的印證，如啟示錄19:10所述『因為預言中的靈意，乃是為耶穌作見證』！我的身體裡好像有一團比原子彈還要強的能力要爆炸出來，被聖靈大大地充滿，那首最近常唱的詩歌“O Happy Day”就一直在心裡放送不停。以前唱這首詩歌覺得很喜樂，但現在是極樂狂喜，言語不能形容我心中快樂的感覺，我很想不停地禱告敬拜讚美這位又真又活的神。我終於了解為什麼初代教會『他們天天同心合意恆切地在殿裏』（徒2:46），為什麼啟示錄有多處記載，我們將晝夜不住地敬拜神，因為當我們嚐到主恩的滋味，就知道有多美好（詩34:8;彼前2:3），就想歸榮耀給祂！
除了想要敬拜讚美神以外，神也開啟了我敬拜的耳朵。以前我對詩歌的曲調很挑剔，也很容易聽到演奏或演唱的雜音和走音。雖然非常尊敬作曲者們愛神的心，可是聽在耳裡總是不能享受；看到別人陶醉的樣子，我真的很羨慕，常常跟神說：把我變成耳聾或音痴吧，至少我還能快樂點！但這次被聖靈充滿之後，神真的回應了我的禱告！就像哥林多前書3章18-19節所述『在這世界自以為有智慧，倒不如變作愚拙，好成為有智慧的。因這世界的智慧，在神看是愚拙。』我忽然發現向神敬拜讚美時，我不再受聲音的轄制而得到完全的自由，『主的靈在哪裏，那裏就得以自由』（林後3:17）。只要是讚美敬拜神的詩歌都非常悅耳，而且令我興奮地想流淚；我感受到，我們的敬拜成為馨香的祭（利3:5）升到神的寶座前，蒙神悅納， 神多麼喜悅祂的兒女來敬拜讚美祂！
我又好像井邊的婦人一般。當她親眼見到這位真神時，就立刻跑去她所住的村子裡向人說：『有一個人將我素來所行的一切事都給我說出來了』（約4:29）。我也好想去向每個人分享我遇見神的喜樂，告訴人我生命的大轉變，對他們說：聖經的每一句話都是真的，『耶穌基督，昨日、今日，一直到永遠是一樣的』！（來13:8）連不認識的路人，我都很想對他們說，為他們禱告。所以經過牧師的同意，我立刻在教會裡分享了這次的見證。神也開了我的眼，當我讀聖經時，以前曾經覺得枯燥無味的字句又活了起來，我好像在大口飽嚐天上的美味，吞嚥稀有的大餐，讓我很想再多讀。做家事時，忽然會有啟示和經節進到腦中，我就趕快寫下來並去查找那些經節，查經不再是會打瞌睡的苦差事。當從神的話語了解祂的心意與奧秘時，那種興奮是無法形容的！神接著又提醒我，要去以前所住過的地方，將這個好消息告訴朋友們。結婚15年，我和先生因求學和工作的緣故，幾乎每兩年搬一次家，住過8個城市。神在末世的大使命就是『所以，你們要去，使萬民作我的門徒，奉父、子、聖靈的名給他們施洗。凡我所吩咐你們的，都教訓他們遵守，我就常與你們同在，直到世界的末了。』（太28:19-20）。做為一個家庭主婦，『要去』還真的有難度，但神很奇妙地真的給我機會『去』，拜訪故地的朋友們，傳講祂的心意！感謝主揀選我們來完成祂的國度大任：『生養眾多，遍滿地面，治理這地』；這是我們受造的目的與命定，我們生命的意義，我們一生的祝福！(寫於2010年感恩節之後)
Destiny, Eureka!
Tzu-Ann
During the last 6 months, God has risen up sister Melinda to start a women’s group to study “Five Aspects of Woman” written by Mrs. Barbara K. Mouser. Before promoting this event, she asked me for my opinion. I wanted to say that, “Sunday afternoon is just the perfect time to rest. Why don’t we wait and see?” However, I always sense an indescribable calmness and wisdom within her so whatever she suggests must be beneficial to us. Therefore, I decided to fully support her on her proposal. Little did I know that this decision would radically change in my life. Without even finishing the whole book, many sisters have also already encountered God in profound ways.
The first aspect brings to light that a woman is the mistress of the domain (inner and outer domains in life). God first created man, then woman. Together, man and woman build God’s kingdom to “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.” (Genesis 1:28). This is our creation purpose and destiny. This is the “Kingdom Mandate”. Interestingly, this is also the exact calling for our church – the “10500 Mandate” – calling God’s people, men and women, young and old, rich or poor, to humbly and whole heartedly run toward excellence. We are called to be an elite, or a “mistress or master”, over our domains – becoming God’s testimony on every major mountains of influence in the world, fulfilling our assignment to build His kingdom and contain the Great Harvest for the day of God’s glorious coming. Elites are represented by the number 10,000, whereas 500 represent their spiritual covers. I finally have grasped the meaning of “10500 Mandate” – our destiny is to build God’s Kingdom! Those who deny themselves and follow Jesus are the elites! For Matthew 13:44-45 says, “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it. ”
But even in this great call, the scripture says that “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) After Adam and Eve sinned, people entered into the age of “end time”. We are now truly living in end time – no longer living to the full extent of God’s original creation purpose. Therefore, we cannot fully fulfill His mandate to “be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it”. In fact, throughout the whole Bible, in various ways, God has repeatedly warned people about the end time: the flood destroying the sinful world, a volcanic burial of Sodom and Gomorrah, ethnic genocide of Hebrew male babies by Egyptian Pharaoh, and the violent and cruel nations set to destroy Israel when she turned away from God and worshipped idols. If we don’t live by faith (Habakkuk 2:4), like Noah’s building the ark, Lot’s family’s exit of Sodom, Moses’ leading the Israelites to exit Egypt, Israelis’ exit of Babylon, returning to God and building the temple, and God’s sending of His only son to save us, how could we become holy and be worthy to build God’s Kingdom? I used to think “end time” means something that will happen in the near future, without realizing that I am in “end time” already! Actually, “end time” is almost coming to an “end” and Christ is returning soon!
The second aspect points out that a woman is not only a man’s “helper”, but more importantly, is his “completer”. Genesis 2:18 states that “The LORD God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” In Chinese and English Bible, the word “help” can not exactly express the original meaning of the Hebrew word “עֵזֶר (’ezer)”. It means “to complete”, “necessary”, and “indispensible”. It excludes the meaning of secondary and subordinate. Namely, the more exact way to state this verse is “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a completer meet for him”. Therefore, the purpose for woman to help man is to make each other complete and become one in order to respond to the God’s calling of building the Kingdom. Without woman, man’s work will not be completed and vice versa. As a consequence, God’s Kingdom cannot be built up. Similarly, the Church recognizes Christ as Her head. Jesus is the bridegroom and The Church is His bride. They shall become one. In the same way, God’s people and God shall become one. After all, “Oneness” originates from God’s image of trinity – God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. The three parts become one to complete each other. God made the image of “oneness” inside us!
After my youngest daughter was born, life stretched my emotional and physical strength to the limit. I did my best to take care of three children and do housework, thinking “Isn’t woman a man’s helper? Perseverance will certainly bring hope. Striving forward will eventually bring reward.” But my husband actually feels that I constantly held him back. I often asked “Lord! What are my problems? How did those great women do it?” It turns out that if we recognize that men and women’s destinies are to build God’s Kingdom together, then my laboring is totally worth it. No matter how hard life becomes in the future, it will be filled with joy because we and our children will see God’s glorious coming, and the eternal increase of His government and peace (Isaiah 9:7). Eureka! I finally found the answer! I was just like the woman at the well who drank the “never thirsting” water described in John 4: “but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:14). All of us have short-termed goal in every stage of our lives. If we don’t align these goals with God’s eternal destiny for us, we will easily lose orientation after achieving each goal. Even to a point that after being pumped up in special conference, we become hopeless as soon as we return back to the stress of our daily life. This is all because that we have forgotten that we are created to build God’s kingdom and carry out the mandate to “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.”
In seeing other sisters also receiving many blessings from the women’s group and their lives being changed, God gave me a vision at church 2 weeks before Midwest Thanksgiving Conference (MTC). Why not share such wonderful blessings to all the sisters during the conference? So after receiving approval from Meng-Da Hsieh, the MTC coordinator, I then boldly approached sister Melinda Wong, then 4 months pregnant, on whether she would like to lead a workshop of “5 Aspects of Woman”. I also asked Sister Joyce Weng, who oversees MTC registration, to be the interpreter because she leads the Chinese discussion for the women’s group. They both told me that they would pray about this. After several days, both replied me that God has moved them to take on this task.
Honestly speaking, up until the moment before the workshop began, we were secretly worried that what if only 3 of us showed up after all? Our prayer was: even if only one or 2 sisters show up, they would find their destiny by this workshop and influence others. Unexpectedly, the 20 copies of the lecture notes were not enough to go around! Praise the Lord that He even provided 2 brothers, Bin and Francis, to help us print extra notes, record the message, and move the chairs, so that our work could be completed.
After sister Melinda’s teaching, sister Yanling, holding her baby girl, gave a wonderful testimony. The workshop concluded with a prayer blessing from Pastor Rebecca Wu from Chinese Christian Prayer Mountain (CCPM) and Mrs. Elsie Tong from Chicago. I saw many sisters with smile on their faces. Many of them stayed afterward for more lively sharing and discussions. I believe that God has planted the seed of His Kingdom in every woman’s heart so that they will continue to shine for God after they leave the conference.
After the conference, Pastor Hannah Chang from CCPM prayed for me one evening. She began by saying, “God has chosen you to complete your husband, David, in order to complete His Kingdom work. God is delighted that you are completing your Kingdom task.” I can only respond by saying “Amen”. God reveal exactly what I had received from Him through the prophetic prayer of a pastor who did not know me at all. I have not even told my husband yet! Her prayer further confirmed what I have received from God recently, as spoken in Revelation 19:10 “for the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.”!
I felt like a power that is greater than atomic bomb is going to explode from my body. As I was overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit, the song “O Happy Day” started to play again and again in my heart. Often when I sang this song, I easily feel its liveliness. But this time, the joyfulness I felt cannot be measured. There are no words that can describe the happy feeling in my heart. I truly want to pray and worship, without ceasing, this true and living God. I finally understand why the early church constantly worshipped the Lord together (Acts 2:46, 47) and why many places in Revelation say that we will worship the Lord day and night. It is because when we taste and see that the Lord is good, we want to give Him all glory (Psalm 35:8, I Peter 2:3)!
Beside the unquenchable desire to worship and praise God, He also opened my ears of worship. I used to be very picky with the musical aspects of praise songs. I can easily discern when instruments or vocals project noise or go off pitch. Even though I respect a composer’s heart toward God, I rarely find the worship music enjoyable. I really envy other people when I saw them enjoy themselves during worship. I constantly say to God “Please turn off my keen musical senses because at least I will be happier!” However, after being filled by the Holly Spirit, God truly answered my prayer! Just as 1 Corinthians 3:18-19 says, “If any of you think he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a “fool” so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight.”. I suddenly realize that when I worship and praise God, my heart was no longer stymied by the sound. God completely set me free – “where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). As long as the songs worship and praise my Lord, they would stir me with excitement and I would often shed tears in response. I can feel our worship rising as a fragrant sacrifice (Leviticus 3:5) to the throne of God to bring Him pleasure. God is abundantly pleased when His children come to worship and praise Him!
Just like the women at the well who immediately ran to tell her village about Jesus when she met the true God, I was also bursting with desire to share the joy of my encounter with God. I burned with eagerness to tell people about my life transformation, about how every word in the Bible is true, and how “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrew 13:8)! I even want to share my testimony with strangers I meet on the street and pray for them. I then asked my pastor for permission to share my testimony in the church.
God also opened my eyes. When I would read the Bible, the words that use to be dull became alive. It was like eating a hardy and sumptuous heavenly meal such that the more I ate, the more I desired the word. When I do housework, the Lord would bring me revelations and Bible verses. I would often quickly jot them down and look for those verses. Studying Bible is no longer a chore for me. The excitement of understanding God’s desire and mystery through reading God’s words is indescribable!
Subsequently, God began to prod me to go to the places we have lived to share with them about this good news. During the 15 years of marriage, my husband and I moved every 2 years and have lived in 8 cities because of school and work. God’s Mandate in end time is “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (Matt 28:19- 20). For a homemaker like me, there is a certain degree of difficulty with “go”. However, God miraculously gave me the opportunities to “go” and to speak His desire. Thank God for choosing us to complete his Kingdom directive to “be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it”. This is our creation purpose and destiny, the meaning and the blessing of our life! (Memoir after Thanksgiving, 2010)